Learning is fun!

I learned a few things this past weekend.

1) An hour north of Santa Barbara, following highway 1 off of 101, where it's pitch dark while driving and you can't help but almost expect some crazed man to jump on your windshield lies the city/town of Lompoc. Lompoc. It looks just like any old middle-class suburb, except its probaby 10x10 blocks and again, middle of nowhere. Surrounding the city is black, pitchless mountains. No idea why it exists, but it's there. And they have japanese, chinese, and thai food.

2) If you want to visit a California Mission,don't underestimate Mission Purisma. What other mission has bulls, goats, horses, donkeys, chicken and roosters? Oh yeah..horses too.

3) Anderson Pea Soup is in the city of Buellton. Boy, how this run-of-mill diner is a marketing genius. The pea soup was good, not spetacular. The food is just ok. Yet everyone wants to go at least once to see what that big billboard sign on the I-5 is about. They did have some fun toys in the gift shop. There was this plastic bottle with a piece of paper you write a note on. Then you can actually mail off this bottle. Note in a bottle! Too bad it had a tourist price on it otherewise some of you would be receiving this novelty in the mail.

4) Solvang is rather uninteresting with lots of bakeries.

5) Hiking is kicking my ass. Actually, my calves. I need a big old straw hat for the sun as well.

6) Finally, this last one, my favorite new thing I learned....ostriches!
Between pea soup and dutch-wannabe-towns lies a field of ostriches (Ostrichland is it's name). Imagine my surprise as I'm driving through a 2-lane highway and I see ostriches running around to my right. I had to pull over and pay the $3 to feed ostriches. Emus too. Let me tell you, an ostrich is one big MEAN bird with no table manners.















Ah, what a knowledge-filled weekend.

Letting go

Good-Bye, Farewell
Only for the moment
I will be back
Just don't know when

My path still weaves
Around and in between
Really I'm lost
But let's pretend

I'll let you know when I arrive

A Clean Slate?

I'm at my apartment right now suppposedly cleaning out all the random remaining things. This will be the - one, two, three - the 12th time I'm moving since I was 16. That's about 1.5 moves a year. Even I find that insane, but it is what it is. This time will be the farthest I move...all the way to sunny San Diego.

Besides my mom, everyone is happy for me. I hear a lot of "it'll be a new beginning" and "its good, you'll have a clean slate to start with". I have mostly nodded, and agreed. Part of me really agreed, but the more I think about it the more I disagree.

A clean slate means I will be able to create an entirely new life for myself - no baggage right? At 25, it is impossible for me to not have baggage; afterall I have a past. We are all shaped by our past. I am also cursed/blessed with an above-average memory. Not memory as in remembering where so-and-so place is located- everyone knows I'm navigationally challenged - or new vocab words. A good memory of events and people I have interacted with, of the people I care about. I can remember my best friend coming up to me one day on the playground and asking me if my name was Karen. We were six. As far as she's concerned I've just been part of her life forever. I remember giving another friend headlocks because she teased be about a boy I liked. Thankfully she doesn't remember that. I remember my first kiss, where it occurred, what he was wearing and how it felt and why it happened right then. I recall words that were said and these things replay in my mind over and over like someone forgot they left the CD track on repeat.

No, moving to San Diego is not a clean slate but instead different. All it does is create a physical divide from where I used to live to where I currently live. My relationships with people do not end, but will continue on with whole set of new standards. It will be different. And realistically, those differences may cause the end of a imperfectly good relationship.

That CD player will continue to play in my head.

Life's Update II

It's been awhile since the first life's update. I mostly waited because despite the fact it was confirmed long ago she does not have cancer (whew!), there is a large psychological component that has not been solved.

My mom is fine, although her symptoms have not gone away. She's down to 100lbs, and constantly tired. Mentally, she has anxiety and fear issues. I suppose that doesn't exactly make her fine, but she is improving. We finally found a doctor she trusts. Which is VERY important.. The last one was, if anything, frustrated and impatient with my mom's fear. Granted, they were rather extreme but the doctor should have been better at handling that fear. Plus, we found out from the other doctors that my mom was unecessarily sent in for surgery. Dr. Lee you suck! So do you Dr. Yeh. Seriously, makes me doubt asian doctors (sorry to sound rascist).

For all you future doctors out there, actually learn to take time with your patients. Makes a huge difference on the perception of their own health.

Sleepy thought

At what point does courage cross over to foolishness and vice-versa? There's too many what-ifs to ever say for sure. I could be a brave soul or I could be a fool. Are they mutually exclusive?

What dreams these thoughts may bring...

Gay Day!

So on a whim last weekend (not the weekend that just passed) I decided it would fun to tag along with Mason and his new bf to Gay Day at Disneyland.

I can imagine what you're probably thinking. GayDay at Disney?! It's the "Unofficial Gay Day". And it's nothing like gay pride in the Castro. There are no naked men making out in front of Cinderella's castle. The only requirement for Gay Day is to wear a red shirt and enjoy Disney like you would any other day. And I did! First of all, the drive down was surprisingly fast. Well, for me it was. Mason might have a different opinion since he was doing the driving. I can't recall what exactly we talked about but there was a lot of chatting and laughing and more laughing. Road trips are fun with the right people.

We arrive at our hotel at around 11:30, proceeded to check-in, and then get ready for bed. Afterall, we did have a full day of Disneyland ahead of us.

The next day, we arrive at Disneyland right at opening time. First thought of the day, "I need coffee". So while Mason dashed off to get the tickets for us, Lorrin and I stood in line to get our caffeine fix. I observed the crowds around us and begin to see the red shirts filing into the Disneyland. I also noted the big-breasted girls pushing stollers with "MILF" wife-beaters on. How classy...

Then we enter Disneyland. And Lorrin spies the shops. Btw, Lorrin admits he loves to shop too much. Naturally, Disney caters all too well for his types. One of the first thing he sees are these RED Mickey t-shirts in the window (I'm sure they'll deny it, but Disney must have planned it). Mason and Lorrin buy matching tees to wear for the rest of the day. Too cute! I found an adorable grumpy looking tinkerbell shirt as well, but honestly when would I wear that shirt? I left the shirt hanging on the rack.

The rest of the day went by more or less like this.

1) Lorrin and I walk towards a ride.
2) Mason has dashed on ahead to get fast pass tickets for another ride.
3) Lorrin and I arrive at the ride.
4) Mason arrives with tickets to the next ride as we head into the fast pass line for the current ride.
5) We observe the sea of red shirts whereever we go. Gay people are so friendly. All the red shirts would smile and wave at each other.

6) We finish the ride. Slowly amble towards the next ride Mason has planned out while maybe browsing the shops setup for each ride.


It amazes how much energy Mason has. He dashed all over the park that day, and still had energy at the end of the day. Amazing.

I had a wonderful time at Disney. Honestly, it was more fun than I thought it would be. I expected a good time mostly due to nostalgia, but Disney is so over the top you can't help but get pulled into all of it. Mason and Lorrin were great company too. There were so many "moments" during the weekend, too many to list. Here's a couple moments I enjoyed in no particular order(chronogically or by preference).

- While walking through the park sometime in the mid afternoon I spy a middle aged lying woman on the bench fast asleep, sucking her thumb. I wanted to take a picture so badly, but my camera ran out of power.

-I pretended to be a bitch - as in a female dog. Look at the picture below. =)

- Lots and lots of red shirts. Some of them had amusing antedotes such as "Must be this tall to ride" and "Spitters are quitters". I'll let you ponder the latter for a bit.

- Fantasmic. Disney's amazing water show. They don't advertise in their brochures for this show, but veterans of the show begin lining the lagoon at least 3 hours before it begins. Mason's a pro at this, so yes we were there and waiting 3 hours before the show. And we weren't the first ones there.

That's the short of my GayDay experience at Disneyland. We drove back up to the bay area the day after (thanks again, Mason) dreading the Monday that inevitably came.

Friends

I get sad sometimes that I spend most of my evenings by myself and that there's more or less noone around me to call up for dinner, to cook, to watch tv, etc... Then in moments of clarity I realize how blessed I am with the friends I have. Not many people can claim knowing their closest friends since high school nevertheless middle school. Even less can brag knowing their best friend since the naive age of six. Not to say good friends have to go back that far; there are more than one friend I made in the past few years that have become important to me as well. These people in my life care about me because of me. They accept all my worst faults, and appreciate all my best traits. It's true love in its platonic form.


I know I will continue to have moments where I'm sad. I will feel alone and be bitter I have no friends around me. In those moments I have to apologize to everyone for forgetting you. Maybe you aren't accessible to me within 5 minutes, but you are my constants through the years and that means very much to me. Thank you.